Work Avoidance

Rurik's Halloween Party 2009. (Photo: Nigel Parry/

Rurik’s Halloween Party 2009. (Photo: Nigel Parry/

I would like to propose
the following techniques
as viable displays
when encountering the suckitude
of work
as developed and employed
by my son Dylan,
the demonstrative kindergartener

1) “Dad, look at my eyes. Look at my eyes. Can you see how tired I am?”

2) Shove everything into a single drawer or closet.

3) Simply place a blanket or pillow over the work you are avoiding.

4) Run away laughing.

5) Stand up slouching, arms hanging limply, head down, move toward work moaning like a zombie.

6) Insert thumb to mouth and sit in a post-traumatic stress pose.


Jaime Hagg is a Saint Paul resident of eighteen years. He teaches English at Gordon Parks High School and coaches soccer for Saint Paul Blackhawks Soccer Club. He has an MFA in poetry from Hamline University. He spends his free time playing kickball with his three kids on Englewood Avenue. But you knew all that by reading this, right?

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